Now, imagine that thought is a horse. Pull out your gran-pappy's old sawed off double barrel shotgun, take aim at the horse(thought), and shoot it dead. Then pull out your trusty baseball bat, and beat that dead horse. Beat it. Keep beating it. Never mind that it's already dead. Just keep beating.
That's what I do. I think an idea to death, and then I beat it some more just for good measure. Pretty soon the idea is unrecognizable, and I'm left wondering what it was I had been thinking in the first place.
How many good ideas have I talked myself out of? That I've beaten senseless to the point that it no longer resembles the promising thought I had in the first place? Waaaay too often. Because the possibility of a thought always has two sides - the side of success in the endeavor, and the side of failure. And fear of failure is a pretty strong thing, folks.
As I'm traversing this road to published-authordom (not a word, but humor me), I'm constantly being pushed into things that aren't comfortable for me. Not bad things, just new things that I find difficult to step out and try. Things that I would like to shoot, and then beat to death. Not because any of those things are bad, but because the fear of failure - of looking ridiculous, of being - gasp!- pitied, is almost crippling for me.
Which, by the way, I recognize is total crap.
Anyway, this blog was one of those things. As soon as I started contemplating it, I had a hundred reasons why I shouldn't. And after those reasons were dismissed as silly, it was as if all the thoughts in my brain coagulated into one grubby, tangled mess. There wasn't a coherent thought, except for this one: If you can't even draft an 'About Me', how are you going to actually write a post?
A silly, yet powerful argument. You should know that I already have another blog that follows our family as we homeschool. Check it out, if you want, here. It's been a great way to keep our family and friends informed about what we're up to. And I'm comfortable with that blog. Because it's just us, being a family, and sharing that. The expectation (for myself) is pretty low.
But here I'm taking a step out and saying, "Why, hello world. Check out what I'm trying to accomplish!" That feels pretty dang intimidating. And yet, I know that if I want to get anywhere with this little book of mine, an online platform (as they call it) is necessary.
So, my dear friends, I'm asking for a couple of things from you:
(1) A little grace. I'm a newbie in this biz, and though I'm trying to take measured, cautious steps, I'm sure to flub up. It's pretty much guaranteed. When I do, please let me cry on your shoulder. Just a little.
(2) A little help. Stepping out onto the road of getting published can be rocky, rough, and lonely. Thankfully, I'm beginning to see that there is a real sense of camaraderie between writers, and I'm excited to join into that group of people. But for you non-writers out there who may stumble onto my humble blog, if you like what you see, please spread the word! I promise to be uber-grateful for each and every one of you.
Gosh, I have no idea if this is an adequate first post. It feels good, though, to have quit beating the dead horse, and get around to something slightly more productive.